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GLORIA at ROCKY’S PLAICE
Dear FOG ( Friends of Gloria ),
As you know I have occasionally helped in previous years with the Summer Club at Broxbourne URC, being during the first week of the summer holidays. Once I progressively climbed up the inside of the roof, another time I appeared variously in a junk shop.
This year, at their 19th Summer Club, believe it or not I was offered a really starring job; to impersonate five different characters in one week!
Strangely, something to do with a fish and chip shop.
Sunday Afternoon:
Nobody is allowed at Summer Club without a badge, so, arriving direct from my sunny back garden on preparation day, the first thing was to enrol alongside the rest of the Staff.
Apparently all the five days would involve Peter of sainted memory with his colleagues in the early days of the Acts of the Apostles as presented for 7 to 11 year olds by the Scripture Union.
Get this! Simon, a fisherman, was nicknamed by Jesus as Peter, the rock. Petra translates as a rock or rocky place. So the association of Rocky with his fishing role leads to Rocky’s Plaice, what else but a fish and chip shop? Obvious!
You might even believe that for the final barbeque on the parents’ evening of the fifth day the Club abandoned the usual beefburgers in favour of handing around fish and chips!
To business:
Monday found me dressed in a pilot’s flying suit and helmet on stage in the church in front of about 120 youngsters plus lots of staff.
The Codfather (!), looking suspiciously like the celebrated Captain Cod, made his appearance half-hidden in a bushy lip-reader’s nightmare which progressed from black to grey in the course of the week, while sharp eyes might have noticed that more medal ribbons grew on his jacket.
After introducing me, surprisingly he produced another flying connection, a boomerang; something that comes back. He told of Jesus saying goodbye to His disciples, including Peter/Rocky, before being taken up into a cloud leaving the Key word –Hope –of His promised return.
For the record: a friendly snap.
Surprise, surprise, Tuesday saw me as a French Onion-seller. What else? For this purpose I was proudly displaying a string of the biggest and most succulent specimens obtainable - ex Sainsbury’s.
Appreciating my French, bi-lingual skills, the kids all joined to greet me with ‘Bonjour, Gloria’. This led naturally to the speaking in many languages by the Disciples caused by the power of the Holy Spirit coming upon them at Pentecost. Key word –Power.
Can you see my rainbow trout today?
Wednesday was a quick change to being a Nurse; someone who cured. I was holding a mat to associate with Peter and John whose faith in Jesus cured the immobile Beggar sitting at the Temple Gate. Key word – Faith.
In the Drama, which was also developing daily, let me introduce you to the chip shop’s two incompetent trainee chefs, ‘Salt’ (left, with the uncontrollable hat) and long-suffering ‘Vinegar’, apparently moonlighting from the local pantomime.
Salt and Vinegar had their own song with the audience, but there was also the main Club Song which equated Rocky’s Plaice with the Church: House of Hope, Good News, Where People Meet, and so on.
Thursday accorded more to my quiet, saintly style, as a Nun - and a very convincing one too, if I say so myself.
In my hand was a pullover, a garment to associate with those made and lovingly given to the poor by one Dorcas, unfortunately recently deceased to the regret of one and all. Peter was called and, with the power of Jesus, restored her to life. Keyword – Love.
There were also some unscripted loving moments which I may say were not without a touch of doubt on my part.
For the final, fifth, fish shop function on Friday we turned all Military.
I had brought a sheet, the contents of which were what Peter dreamed about, in effect telling him not to reject what God brought to him.
Then, knock, knock, messengers at the door downstairs were requesting him to come and tell his news about Jesus to non-Jews, particularly sent by Officer Cornelius because he also had been given a vision.
Cornelius and his family were also affected by receiving the Holy Spirit, such that Peter realised it was for the whole world, not just the Jews. A momentous break-through! Key word – Tell.
For today’s pose we doffed caps, although I am not quite sure why. See that grey beard!
Through the week, in the Craft areas, I hear that the youngsters had each been making sea-related items, or cooking things like octopus-decorated biscuits, none of which, I may say, came my distance.
As a result of my help all week there was a generous round of applause on friday for Gloria.
(Thinks: Not to mention the Scripture Union).
Well earned, no doubt, but I couldn’t help thinking that if one day a chap called Luke hadn’t met up with Paul and consequently decided to research the Acts of the Apostles (as well as all about Jesus), then we would never have been able to read any of this about Peter, and probably not be gathering here at all, ever. Well done Luke for telling us about Rocky.
Blessings on you all, Gloria..
P.S. You notice that I have carefully preserved the anonymity of Revd David Bradburn.
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GLORIA’S BUSY WEEKEND
Dear FOG ( Friends of Gloria ),
This has been a busy weekend, at least compared with many. Sometimes I have sat for five, even ten years, doing nothing, and now out and about twice in three days!
On Thursday there was this General Election event, one of those things that keep coming up every five years, so I felt it important enough for me to take a hand in it personally, not just a cardboard cut-out.
Everyone was very friendly and jolly; a pleasant, easy job. Someone in the background advised, “Careful she doesn’t bite you”.
The following morning, Friday, Ron rang up Gordon at 10 am to find him still in bed. Gordon said he hadn’t heard the election results, so Ron said shortly “Oh, a Landslide” and changed the subject.
Next day, on Saturday, I was invited to help with the Christian Aid Walk once more, from Ware to Ware, starting and ending at Allenbury’s Sports Hall. You have heard of Glaxo? Well it is there.
As you know, I usually work bare-foot but this weekend needed a quick dress change, notably from the blue diamante slip-ons which came last week from the May Market at 50p into the size 10 slippers from M&S at £26!
Weather was the problem. The weatherman said there might be sharp showers, and, for myself, I aim to stick to fair conditions.
We had this Lake District hat, the brim of which would keep raindrops off the familiar features which you admire so much. The red jacket which came recently seemed solid enough to be waterproof, but the problem was protecting the legs. We seemed to be right out of waterproof skirts. Have you ever noticed any in the charity shops? I think not. Not ‘Onesies’ either, but that’s another story.
Searching, Gordon found a pair of white trousers. But White! They would show the least bit of dirt so he insisted I came in to somewhere properly clean before he would let me put them on.
My job on the Walk was close to the penultimate check point at St Andrew’s Church in Stanstead Abbotts, pointing the walkers to the hall, up off the road. It couldn’t have been more convenient for having the car to hand. Not the one in the picture.
Frances from our URC Church in Hertford, who were manning the check point hall, came out and was particularly interested, friendly and helpful. She went and got me a couple of Christian Aid balloons, blew them up, and fixed them herself.
There were pictures with all sorts of people. For instance, as they arrived the St John’s Ambulance men, Adrian and Rob, joined in.
We even had the benefit of the passing cycle race.
At one stage of the proceedings a lady started asking me for information before the other staff joined in on the conversation.
It was highly encouraging. I really enjoyed being part of the discussion team with Brenda and Cheryl, friends of Frances.
Vernon was my fellow traveller in our car, but not very visible here because of including the gateway, I fear.
He had been marshalling just up the hill, the person before the walkers got to me.
We had several folk taking pictures with their mobile phones.
Exploring with his full-scale camera, along comes my old friend, Peter Ruffles, MBE, twice times mayor of Hertford, who paused to enjoy a chat whilst having his portrait taken with me.
In all, the job lasted four hours, being all afternoon from 2 to 6pm, which proved quite exhausting, although kindly Peter Worth came along later and offered relief for a while.
I may say that I was glad to get home at the end of it.
And notice there wasn’t any rain after all!
With lots of love to everyone, from Gloria.
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GLORIA’S 40 YEAR CELEBRATIONS
In August (the 10th to be exact), 2015, I have been here, at this very address, for 40 years. Just think. In a few years I will have been living here longer than Gordon himself!
What about a celebration?
Ron says jelly, ice cream and cake. Jelly we can do. Ice cream we can do, but cake is more of a problem. Ron says go down to the supermarket for one.
In truth I fancied something which would last a bit longer, so on the actual morning I went down town and got a 40th Balloon.
It was rather tricky to find one which didn’t have ‘Happy Birthday’ on it, and a rather windy day, too, for taking a picture.
Then in the afternoon Gordon produced a lovely cake with ‘Party!’ written on it. In addition the Minister from the church was also kind enough to come and wish me well on the actual day, so we organised a party together. With the best china.
The failure was the candles.
Rev David managed to stick three of them into the cake, leaving only thirty seven more to go, but he rather ran out of space because of the patches of hard decoration.
One idea was to have candles sticking out of the sides, but in that case it would have been safer to go out into the garden to light them.
He went away later carrying a chunk of cake. It only occurred to me next day to wonder if the sticky icing would separate afterwards from the inside of the plastic wrapper.
Surprisingly his parting shot from the car was to ask for a picture for the Church magazine. I wonder what they will make of that!
Even more permanent would be to have a personal insignia. ‘Gloria International’. How about that?
I fancy it on a T-shirt, so first we plan the design on the computer.
Then it is switched to be backwards before printing it on the special paper which was generously supplied by Betty Brown.
In fact we, at home, have the added luxury of doing it not just in black and white but in colour, and not just in one colour but full Technicolor!
The vest is dried flat before carefully following the instructions to iron on the print.
We might have included the ‘40’ balloon, but the less there is, the better it can be seen.
Off comes the paper and there you are with the picture on the garment.
I am absolutely delighted.
Of course, saying ‘ International’ involves one in being widely travelled.
My web connections are already with India, Chicago, Deptford, places like that.
In person, I have been as far South as Waltham Cross!
At the Pavilion there I pulled a Christmas Cracker with Mayor and Mayoress, Eddy Rowland and his lovely wife, June.
North to Bishops’ Stortford to explore where my old Hospital used to be,
East beyond Ware to help the Christian Aid walk passing there,
and West to visit the new Hertford Hospital.
In fact even further West to practice skiing at Watton at Stone.
That’s pretty extensive.
During my 40th celebration, I also decided to pop out as far as Colliers End on the old A10 to make the acquaintance of a colleague who, I have been told many times, sits day and night at the roadside for all to see as they pass.
I was told she is in the bath outside the Junk shop.
What surprised me on arrival was to find that she is not just sitting In the bath. She is sitting, quite elegantly ON the bath. Amongst weeds.
We visited on a Saturday afternoon, and there was absolutely no sign of anyone around, in the cottage or junk shop adjacent for all the time we were there. So we couldn’t ask the maiden’s name. A few cars came past, but this piece of road is bypassed nowadays by the current A10.
You understand that personally I make absolutely no objection to appearing in the nude in public myself. But what raised admiration for my new friend was the fact that she was actually chained to the bath. Not very usual.
I might also find out about the Fox & Hounds. Where and when?
As my new friend becomes available I must invite her back to my place for Tea and Muffins... or Teacakes.
Meanwhile it has been a Glorious 40th weekend.
With lots of love, from Gloria..
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GLORIA’S NEW YEAR ‘ROUND ROBIN’
Dear FOG ( Friends of Gloria ),
This Christmas it seems to have become even more a la mode to send friends a Round Robin of the year’s activities, so why should not Gloria? But is it too late? Christmas is already upon us. So the kindly suggestion has been to do a New Year Round Robin instead. Certainly, it has been my busiest year to date.
They say that success leads to more successes, or something like that. At least I think they do. People see you doing something, they get interested, and they join in with their own offers, perhaps even bigger and better, perhaps not.
For you to understand how I come to have a boyfriend in South India we need to go back more than a year to last December when Santa brought me marker pens and I colored the cover picture of the church magazine. This got me a medal award in a display, with this picture projected amongst other magazine pictures on the wall during a Christmas church service (as well as in the next magazine).
Visiting hosts at our church for that Christmas was a longstanding friend, Rev Sujeeth Kumar, a young Minister from the south of India, studying in Birmingham for his Doctorate. Particularly interested in seeing my picture, his hosts brought him to meet me in person a couple of days later at my humble abode. We had pictures together which, perhaps ill-advisedly, he sent back to his distant wife, Minnie.
It is always good to tell people ‘ Thankyou’. They might do it again for you. Excluding the Dentist, of course.
So in February (it takes that long) I picked up the telephone to thank the church magazine Editor.
Boyfriends are a bit like buses; you wait for about forty years without one and then two come along together only a few months apart. In April, John Morton proposed to me on one knee in the church yard, holding a KitKat.
‘Why holding a KitKat?’ I hear you ask.
John had just got one from the Minister, Rev DKB, who was happily handing around KitKats because after ten years effort his powerful blue monster Kit Car was at last on the road. For excitement he was even offering rides to intrepid folk who were not at home watching the Grand National that afternoon. But they were only passengers.
I am the only one that he would ever allow into the driving seat!
In June Minnie came over from India to be with her husband, and of course when passing briefly through Broxbourne she was keen to see me.
Girls together, she arranged the head scarf, then discovered my tartan garter with amusement.
July is when we long to be out in the garden sunbathing.
Donning a ‘cossy’,
I remembered to pose with a copy of the church magazine for entering in the coming December display.
I told you that one thing leads to another. In August, seeing my driving skills, Big Ron invited me to try out his big blue tractor at the farm.
But what does a girl wear when she is going to drive a tractor? Not a dress. And do I take a spanner or some WD40?
What I really liked best was riding around on the little red grass mower pulling its trailer.
Then Ron asked ‘ Which colour of boat would you like; white or blue?
So we went down to the lake where I paddled around and visited the geese.
Fortunately, I am never sea-sick.
‘Skylark’ , my foot!;
This led Lil-next-door to suggest that I might pop into her house to experience a recliner chair.
Books in hand, we had a really pleasant evening at home together.
Into each life some rain must fall, or Araldite in my case.
Unfortunately, reaching up to put a dress over the cossy broke my weak left elbow once more.
In truth, it was cured in a week, but I still put on a sling now and again for sympathy.
In September it was a great surprise and delight when the church brought fruit and flowers from the Harvest Festival! Do you like my wine box side table?
The least one can do is say ‘Thankyou’, even after the apple is bitten. It also seemed a suitable scene in which to launch my nice new red wig, although some viewers have recoiled, muttering ‘Vivid!’.
Notice, too, that I have remembered to include the current church magazine. That’ll give my friend, Rev.DKB, a problem to choose which of my magazine pictures to show in the Christmas display!
October. There must be very few who go to the dentist’s on the day before and stay the night to be sure of not being late.
He doesn’t mind patients being carried in, but carrying them out is bad for business!
(Actually that’s exactly what happened. Two teenage girls were peering into our empty car waiting on the pavement, and turned in great surprise as we dashed from the front door to push them aside).
Since Teresa Morton saw my picture on the surgery wall she is delighted to tell her friends “Gloria goes to the same dentist as me!”
I hardly know how to approach telling you about November. You know how the best laid plans of mice and men.....? Well this is the visual version.
For months I had looked forward to my scheduled evening in person with Hertford (and District) Camera Club, who are interested friends through seeing my portraits in competitions.
But the first twist was that an adjustment of Stuart’s Programme caused the very next week to be another portrait demonstration, this time by a professional photographer bringing his studio lighting equipment (but no model)!
So the plan was that with help from all the club members I should dress and produce a competition picture using only the lighting and backgrounds available free in their own meeting hall.
There were several possibilities, even if the result would be no more than ‘judge bait’. To check lighting and angles, Stuart fixed the trial use of the hall a week earlier. Ok so far?Now the unexpected:
On the very morning of this dress rehearsal it was found that heartless thieves wielding hacksaws had broken into the hall and cut out all the copper pipe they could find, including much of the central heating, leaving water damage to bring down some ceilings!
We were still allowed to use the main hall if well wrapped up against the cold, and needing neither tea nor toilets. Naturally I was impervious, as they say, so the ‘Dummy Run’ rehearsal still went ahead.
This is me
(A) Practicing my wave on arrival,
(B) Using the floral door curtains in colourful mode,
(C) In action with an office-type background, and
(D) Posing with my unique ‘Executive’ camera in the front row of the (simulated) Camera Club meeting.
All four scenes, quite different, are taken in the same hall.
B and C depend on using ceiling lights which happen to be there.
Four pictures from an event that never took place!
What actually happened? Instead of cancelling, Stuart managed to book a Nursery School hall; warm, but a new, completely blank canvas; not even an adult table high enough for the laptop. We just had to make the evening up as we went along, (like many another amateur photoshoot).
The tripod camera was projected for the audience to see on screen (far right) what was happening.
I did the wave on arrival. That was alright.
I also did my camera pose in the front row with Jackie.
Forget the laptop idea, and this is as far as I got with my garland picture; a rather pathetic floral background.
We even got out candles to demonstrate lighting available to any photographer, but the unrehearsed matches wouldn’t light!
So we resorted to portraits with an Anglepoise.
Still, as my badge for the evening says, ‘I did it, and I DID IT GOOD’.
And the final twist? The following meeting didn’t happen! The professional photographer cancelled because of extremely icy roads full of standing traffic!
With which I shall close. Regards to each and every one of you, from Gloria.
P.S. When Ron tries to sell you my autograph, be careful. Ends
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GLORIA AND THE BLUE LADY
Dear FOG ( Friends of Gloria ),
Do you like flowers? I think these are gorgeous.
Guess where they are from.
Believe it or not from a bucket at the roadside outside the junk shop at Colliers End, £3 a bunch!
Last Saturday, as I write, we went back there again to see if we could find out the name of the nude maiden chained in, or actually on, the bath at the roadside. See my last Letter.
Curiosity will out, and this time we were lucky.
The boss of the shop, Dave, is not well, but fortunately friendly son Joe had decided to open up while he was doing a bit of garden chair reconstruction.
Joe didn’t know if she had an official name. He said that for himself he always called her the Blue Lady.
This of course is a fine name for a while until you realise that she is not blue at all. She is Beige. All over.
He then explained that in the past she had been repainted. Once upon a time she had been Blue, a nice bright nursery Blue, and he continued to call her that, which is not unreasonable.
Any way, we get on fine together.
So then out of interest we asked where she had come from in her bath marked Fox & Hounds, which quite surprised Joe.
This IS the Fox and Hounds! See the sign.
That is what it was called when it was a pub, and that is still what it is called. The only house in the village with an underground cellar. We could open again nowadays as a pub if we wanted to, but we don’t want to.
Joe said they had a web site for the Fox and Hounds. Later I found the Blue Lady amongst outdoor locality pictures labelled The Fox and Hounds, Colliers End.
On the way back south along the old A10, being a special outing, it seemed a good idea also to pull in and have a better look at the Monument half way down the hill, or up depending on your direction, just north of the Feathers Inn, Wadesmill.
Thoughtfully there is a special parking space provided for just one vehicle to pull in on the downward side of the road.
This is where in June 1785 (vaguely a hundred years before steam trains were even thought of) Thomas Clarkson, a student who had produced a report on slavery, stopped his horse on his way south to London to consider, and decided in desperation that the misery and deaths on appalling slave ships must be stopped, and for something to actually start happening he must devote himself to doing it
Details on the display board tell how after 20 years William Wilberforce presented a Bill in Parliament to stop slave trading over the Atlantic. Pressure then built up so that after another 30 years slavery was abolished altogether. Very interesting to read.
Notice that with the flowers I also had the church magazine with me, although it may not stand out terribly well for displaying in the church Christmas Day competition for where magazines have been to.
So often I find good places for a picture with the magazine but have forgotten to take it with me. On the other hand there are times to show the magazine but no place organised.
How about this friendly display, showing the magazine alongside three out of the cast of the five actors known as Roughshod?
They put on a performance at Cheshunt United Reformed church, and afterwards the two lads stayed here overnight.
The jolly picture of the five by Andrew Dyer is on a post card which the boys gave us, with this kind message on the back.
Of course our chosen magazine picture should be under wraps until Christmas morning.
I have been looking at the pictures we have used already, together with my trophies in olive wood which are all the way from being made at Bethlehem.
Unfortunately I can’t tell you which one came when except for the special 2012 Olympic one with the red ribbon. Strangely there is a mystery.
This earned the first award for showing a church magazine on Christmas morning in 2009, specially coloured with marker pens.
The second picture for Christmas 2010 was taken in mid-summer, and embellished with a happy message.
The third picture, for 2011, dwelt more upon my educational skills,
while the fourth picture for the extra special Christmas 2012 after the London Olympics was taken at teatime in the back garden.
For Christmas 2013 I was showing off my BCM Magaluf T-shirt whilst on an electric scooter.
As I write you can see this picture of me’ in the church vestibule, taken when fundraising previous to the Christmas 2014 display.
Now we find the mystery:
Seven awards but only six Christmases. How can that be?
I just don’t know. Maybe you can be the detective. Incidentally I had no pictures at all taken in 2008.
Leaving you to think about it, I close, sending much love from Gloria.